the ohio state all-arrested team

More like Andy Incareratedmoyer.

Inspired by this article I've compiled my own all-arrested team for Ohio State. Hint: It features a world-famous rugby player!

QB: Troy Smith (driving with a suspended license and failure to appear in court)

We'll always have the Red Lobster. ;_;

In late 2011 Troy Smith was pulled over for a routine traffic violation when it was discovered he had a warrant out for his arrest for driving on a suspended license and failure to appear in court. Smith eventually plead no contest and was ordered to pay $697 in fines and court costs.

Smith has had a rough post-college career. After being cut by the Ravens and not resigned by the 49ers he played in the UFL but failed to find success there as well. Smith is currently a free agent and his return to pro football doesn't look good. 

RB: Maurice Clarett (several arrests including aggravated armed robbery and ridin' dirty)

His real crime was being a BAMF

What can you say about 'ol Marurice that hasn't already been said a million times before? 

After helping OSU to win a national title in 2002 Maurice Clarett promptly hit rock bottom starting with his failed attempt to join the NFL early. 

Clarett's most infamous brush with the law came in 2006 when he was arrested after making an illegal U-turn (Ohio hates U-turns) followed by going on a wild police chase which ended after Clarett ran over a spike strip.

After calling the arresting officers 'niggers' and spitting on them, police discovered  a katana, a zanbatō, a loaded AK-47 variant and two other loaded handguns in his vehicle along with an open bottle of Grey Goose vodka.

Adored by both weaboos and hustlas alike.

It should also be noted the officers had to use mace on Clarett after the tazer they tried didn't work because he was wearing body armor.

Clarett's latest foray into sports also doesn't seem to be going that well as he apparently no longer with the Columbus rugby team. 

WR: Santonio Holmes (disorderly conduct, possession of marijuana, domestic abuse, being a bitch)

How can I get my tile that clean!?

Of the players selected for this prestigious list Holmes has had the most success on the field despite being a bitch-pants. 

Holmes' legal troubles aren't that all that severe. In 2006 he was arrested for disorderly conduct and later again for domestic abuse charges which were subsequently dropped. In 2008 he was also arrested for possession of marijuana and apologized for missing a game.

In 2010 Holmes' twitter account was "hacked" after a night club incident where afterwards a twitter follower criticized Holmes for the incident and Holmes told the poster to "kill urself" and later posted it was time to "wake and bake".

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.TE: Jake Stoneburner (obstructing official business re: peeing on a building, running from police)

Until now what did all these players have in common?

After a pretty decent career at Ohio State Stoneburner was picked up by the Packers as an undrafted free agent. 

However he will most be remembered for peeing on an early education center in Dublin. :)

OL: Alex Boone (DUI, going cray)

Boone is seen here being petted by some 49er.

Boone had a pretty illustrious career at OSU, becoming a 4 year started and two time All-American.

As a pro Boone's career got off to a rocky start but after having a breakout season in 2012, playing like a pro-bowler, expectations are high for him in 2013.

Boone also has had a couple brushes with the law including a DUI in 2006.

In 2009 California police were called to investigate a disturbance where upon arrival Boone was found jumping on car hoods, yanking on a tow truck cable and trying to break a window. Boone fled from police where he was eventually found hiding under a patio and had to be tazed in order to be subdued.

DL: Nathan Williams (shoplifting)

Probably shoplifted that tattoo as well.

Not really much to say about this but he was charged with shoplifting three shirts from a Dayton area mall. Uhh.. *joke about Dayton being scuzzy*

LB: Andy Katzenmoyer (violating a protection order)

Katzenmoyer became a true star for the Buckeyes after becoming a starter as a freshman. He would eventually go on to be an All-American and Butkus Award winner.

However, his promising pro career came to an abrupt end after sustaining a major neck injury after just two seasons.

In March of this year Katzenmoyer was arrested after violating a protection order. It stems from a visitation disagreement about his daughter.